Fire Quackers

Odd Looking Bird
...he's thinking I'm an odd looking guy.

We took in the fireworks display put on by the city of Hendersonville, TN this evening. While waiting for darkness to fall we got up close and personal with some very odd looking ducks. I'm not even sure that this is a duck. It looks like a cross between a rooster and a duck. A Dooster?

The boy also took his first ever swim lesson today. I'm relieved to be able to say that he's a ridiculously good swimmer. He can swim like a dooster.

We're off to Paducah, KY tomorrow. Paducah is a city that is not located in my spelling dictionary. It'll be just me and the boy for this upcoming journey, so we're dubbing it "The Man Trip".

First of July

Sparkler Boy
...feel the burn.

I took the boy with me to run some errands this evening. While we were in the car he told me had burned himself earlier in the day. Of course I asked him how it happened. He told me he burned himself while doing push-ups. Ya know, feel the burn?

One of the stops on our errand run was the fireworks tent. It's the same place where we get our pumpkins for Halloween, so naturally I pulled into the parking lot and told the boy we were there for pumpkins. Ha-ha! Three figures and a decimal point later we ended up leaving with WAY too many fireworks. I could have purchased 5 fire extinguishers for that. I'll look forward to having that hindsight next week.

Chinese Fireworks

Made In China
...but it goes off with a bang.

Wow, it'll be the Forth of July on Friday. Nearby and far away neighbors have gone through some phases of testing for the past few nights. I expect it'll ramp up as we get to the actual holiday. I'm wondering how the dog will react.

In this video, the boy tries to pull one of those little party-favor type fireworks with the streaming paper. It gets off to a rough start, but with some help from dad, the boy finally pulls it off. I play the role of dad in this film.

Pictures That Move

Run Down General Lee Run Down
...Rosco the dog makes 1st video appearance.

I was going through the hundreds and hundreds of photos I've taken since we started sharing the house with Rosco the dog. I was actually looking for one that showed how small he was less than six weeks ago. Instead, I found this short video of the boy running over his run down General Lee. I keep taking all these short, quirky little videos and then forget that I have them.

Naturally, Rosco is trying to nab the General Lee at the start of the video.

See You Next Fall!

Where the Fall Took Place
...in the first place.

I was able to sneak a couple of photos of the wife pretending she can walk down the stairs off our back deck. These are the same stairs she bypassed on her way out the door and broke her ankle when she stepped on our son's turtle scooter. I was actually in the backyard trying to get photos of the dog attacking the boy.

These two photos of the wife were actually uploaded a couple of days ago to my Flickr account. I uploaded them along with a half dozen other photos. For some reason the two photos of the wife have received hundreds of views, while the others I uploaded received less than 10 views. I don't understand it. She's wearing a shirt and everything.

Vertical Man vs. Horizontal Household (a survival guide)

Medical Advice
...get well blockhead.

The postings have been less frequent for the past few weeks as I've been balancing work and an ailing family. Tomorrow will mark a full 2-weeks since the boy had his tonsils removed. He still talks like he's deaf, but he is finally up and around. The wife and her still broken ankle are not going to be mobile for another 5 to 6 weeks(!)

We've had a lot of help from family, and received some wonderful condolences from friends. I even got this helpful advice from Dr. Chip:

boyo, wuddup!

here's some stuff maybe will help you

FOOD
- think camping. hot dogs. can of baked beans. can of corn. grill. potato chips. potato salad. you got a real handful for a month or so, so don't be afraid to put a small premium on time savers like this stuff. yeah, paper plates and plastic cutlery cost money, but it's worth it for the extra time you get on the back-end.

can't cook out? keep a thawed whole chicken in the fridge. chances are real good you're gonna cook it before it goes bad (4-5 days). cookin' a whole chicken is easy. line a baking (cookie) pan with foil (saves clean up time later). throw that fuckin' chicken right onto that bitch. make sure you reach up into it's butt hole first, all the way in, mind you.. and pull out the giblets (usually wrapped in butcher's paper). these things are disposable food. if ya won't eat 'em, toss 'em into the street, count the number of legs when the poor folk rush 'em, and divide by two. now, ya got yourself a CENSUS to go with dinner. oh, the chicken... sprinkle a little garlic powder (don't use garlic salt), some onion powder, and turn it kinda red with paprika. if the family likes it, put some black pepper on it, too. throw that bitch in a preheated (400 deg) oven for about 45 minutes, easy, and it's oh, so SHTEINERRIFIC! you can put a foil tent over the top before ya cook it if ya want the skin a little less browned.

roast beef is pretty easy, too, grab a rump or chuck roast, season to taste and broil both sides for about 3 mins before putting it in the oven to roast (sears the meat, ya know). I don't time mine, I just cut it to see when it's done to my liking.

the noodle recipe... one large bag stroganoff noodles, boil to "al dente"... 2 or 3 cans Aldi canned roast beef... one can cream of mushroom soup... butter and season to taste. I like to throw some swiss cheese on mine when it's about done and throw it in the broiler for about a minute to brown the cheese. yum.

keep boxed cereal and milk, the boy will dig it. same for mac-cheese and peanut butter sandwiches.

ham, chicken or tuna salad is good to keep in a tub for sandwiches for a few days, and not too hard to make. put it on hamburger buns for a quick meal.

baked spuds are easy, wrap in foil, oven, 1 hour, 400 deg's.

keep a couple cans corned beef or raost beef hash, and some eggs. good anytime, just fry it up. serve with toast.

nachos and nacho cheese dip. saves time, the chips got corn the dips got cheese. can't be all bad, right?

KEEP THE FOLLOWING HANDY... CANNED RAVIOLI, FROZEN PIZZA, soup soup soup, a few frozen dinners or family packs, ice cream and pickles. none of this stuff will break the bank, and most will keep through the next ice age. besides, that'll give some variety when someone has the munchies.

okay, CHORES

laundry-- don't have much to help here, except keep the washer full of water and soak the cold wash stuff til it's full, then run it. see if you can get George to help.

clean up--- not much to do, 'cept force-feed George a little responsibility. no way around it, that's your make-or-break.

LAWN-- you need to ditch this for a while. find some homeless fuck under a bridge. offer him 20 bucks to mow the lawn. when he's done, give him $1.35 in nickels and pennies, and some phony crack rocks. tell him he's lucky to get that. then, remind him you could have him killed for 75 cents by another homeless crack addict.

DISHES-- use as many disposables as possible and lighten the load. don't be afraid to really load up on paper napkins at the local McDonalds or Kentucky Fucky Chicken. that goes for ketchup, mustard, mayo, honey, and hot sauce, too (hot sauce at Taco Bell). boyo, don't feel bad, they write that shit off.

LAST--- use every chance to score a free meal from the old in-laws, yuppers!! they'll be wantin' ya over maybe once a week or so, I'm thinkin... might be a good time to take advantage of it. just an idea...

I sure hope Dr. Chip is around if there's any real emergencies.

New BNL Video: Drawing

I think this is totally awesome. I made a loop of part of this song for the main ringtone on my phone.

You're Into Handwriting?

CJ in Urination Writing
...you're in art!

At the impromptu Father's Day party, my nephew, whose name is also CJ (avoids confusion), was at the house. He was out near the campfire he helped build with the boy.

Apparently, the boy had to pee and was making dedications. He dedicated this to his cousin, CJ. Nice.

That's a lot of pee for a 7-year-old boy.

Speaking of peeing, Rosco P. Factory, our recently-acquired black lab-mix, has been doing a much better job of keeping that activity outdoors. In fact, I think he may have tried to pee-write my name, but regrettably, he can't spell. Who the hell is "WC"???

Intense Marshmallow Inspection

Intense Marshmallow Inspection
...stay puft forever.

It was a truly unique Father's Day this year. The day started off to waking up with BBQ utensils in bed with me. I will say that the tongs included in this set of "tools" is awesome because they are like having two small spatulas on the end. This pleases me immensely.

Then came the surprise Father's Day party at our place. We capped the evening with our first-ever campfire in the backyard. We had our own "2/3 Smores", which excluded the graham cracker. The boy is still on a soft food diet after his tonsil removal last week. He's been having a rough few days, but today was a good one.

Tonsils Out!

Night in the Ruts!

Night in the Ruts!
...Rosco enjoys a sack lunch.

We're closing in on the first full week of dealing with the wife's broken ankle situation. It's a great reminder of just how much work it is taking care of a house, a 7-year-old boy, a cat, and our still-not-completely house-broken new dog, Rosco P. Factory. Also, there's the immobile wife situation, attending to her hygiene needs, redressing her bandages, and general moral support.

Dan and Danielle, dear friends from California sent the wife some get well flowers. I wanted to thank them with a photo of the wife and the flowers. I took a bunch of shots, but the one pictured here I think is the best because the dog is biting the boy right in the nuts. I suppose it's one of those "taken at the right time" photos.

My wife won't be too thrilled about her appearance in this photo, but I can't just simply discard a photo with a dog biting a boy in the sack. It'd be sacrilegious!

...also, we can't stand the wallpaper border either. I find it quite hideous.

X-Ray Vision

The before...

...and after.